Wednesday, September 19, 2007

I read the news today, oh boy...   [Mark Steyn]

I went over to the Fox News story on Dan Rather's $70 million lawsuit and was laughing my head off over the charge that he was fired to "pacify the White House" when my eye fell on the right-hand column of current headlines. What a snapshot of the world. In order:

    * Idaho Man Blames Wild Sex for Car Crash
    * Man Declared Dead Awakens During Autopsy
    * Court Revokes Britney Spears' Teen Role Model Career
    * New Zealand Cops Discover Woman's Body in Car Belonging to Father of 3-Year-Old Abandoned Girl
    * British Woman Divorces Son of Usama Bin Laden
    * Questions Raised Whether Tasered Student Planned to Stage Incident at Kerry Forum
    * Alicia Silverstone to Appear Nude in PETA Commercial
    * O.J. Simpson Released From Jail After Posting $125K Bail in Armed Memorabilia Heist Case
    * Iranian General: We Have Plans to Bomb Israel if They Attack Us
    * Armless Man Will Not be Charged With Head-Butting Death of Ga. Man
    * Meteorite Crash Causes 'Mystery Illness' in Peru
    * Milwaukee Nun, 79, Charged With Having Sexual Contact With Two Boys
    * Youngest of 3 Sisters Allegedly Set on Fire by Mom Dies in Hospital
    * Pop Tarts: Jamie Foxx’s Fertile Fantasy: Impregnating Halle Berry
    * Dan Rather Expected to Report Boeing 787 Unsafe
    * Report: Jesse Jackson Says Barack Obama 'Acting White' in Case of Six Blacks Accused in Assault Case

What I like about the list is the vague feeling that it's computer generated and would make no difference randomly reshuffled:

* New Zealand Cop Divorces Son Of Usama Bin Laden
* Alicia Silverstone Expected To Report Boeing 787 Unsafe
* Milwaukee Nun Will Not Be Charged With Head-Butting Death
* Report: Jesse Jackson Says OJ Simpson "Acting White"
* Dan Rather To Appear Nude In PETA Commercial

UPDATE: More fun with headlines courtesy of NRO readers:

* Armless Man Blames Wild Sex For Car Crash
* Dan Rather Awakens During Autopsy

Actually, Dan Rather improves almost any headline ("Dan Rather Causes 'Mystery Illness' In Peru", etc).

09/19 05:45 PMShare